Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Navigating the Rocky Ground of Her Relationships? ? Her View ...


Posted by Heather on 21 Aug 2012 / 0 Comment

I am a rock! I ammm annn Iiiiiisland??

Okay, sorry I?ll quit singing Simon and Garfunkel. It?s been a crazy week about relationships and right now I?d like to be that rock.?

For example, the day I picked my daughter up from her first day at public school, I had fears of her being lonely, bullied, or upset. I was so completely wrong. The first thing she said to me was, ?Mom, when you drop me off at school tomorrow, can you make sure you are dressed and your hair is a in a ponytail??

What? Where did that come from? Licking my wounds, I ignored her remarks as I waved at a close friend who drove by.?

Strange, she always says hi, she must be busy. I saw her again later that afternoon, ?Hi ?.., how are you???

NO RESPONSE. Really. As if that wouldn?t bug anybody, friendships, business relationships and more gets worse?

Late in the evenings, we keep our bedroom door open, it seems to be when our oldest is chatty and wants to talk about everything under the sun. Like clockwork, she strolls in at 11:30 pm to tell me that school is a lot like the movie Mean Girls. Her new friend Laura helped her with the ins and outs of public school. Cheyenne learned about the clicks at school, including the druggies, the mean girls, the emo?s (a.k.a emotional kids with a dark side), the plastics, the jocks and the good girls who don?t really have any one set of friends but they all hang out together.?

I?m just thankful she made friends and is surrounded by good ?eggs?. :-) I know how hard school is,?especially?when we have to do it alone. The rest of life is that way too. We need friendships, we need someone to talk to, who lets us know we are okay or a little off?take your pick.

?As the week progressed, the three of us (me, Jen and Leslie) had a bit of a hissy fit with each other. I won?t tell you who?s temper started it. The rest of the week resulted in me, myself and I sulking around the house. I hate feeling alone and dismembered from every relationship I?ve ever known (Yes it sounds so extreme but that I how I felt. A.L.O.N.E.).?

Why are we such relational creatures in the first place? Why does having friendships have to be a part of who I am? ?A friend of mine is a licensed therapist (No?I don?t need one?often), she says friendships for women gives us a place to stand, ?that?particular?someone to helps hold our sanity intact (if not just loosely), and creates a safe place to be ourselves.?

Friendships are hard and like it or not?we are defined by who we surround ourselves with. It?s part of our identity, and it takes work. Which is yet another mom thing where I make it clear to my kids how valuable another human being is. And why they need to value each other. They are stuck as a family and they may as well enjoy it.?But?a smiling face, a person who knows the deepest, ugliest parts of us and still calls us a friend?.they are the type of people that make friendships worth it.?

??But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sunshine. ~Thomas Jefferson.

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Source: http://herviewfromhome.com/navigating-the-rocky-ground-of-her-relationships/

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