Ramblings on motherhood - Home Life Simplified

I recently attended the Power of Moms retreat here in Queensland. On the first day we had some initial mingling time to get to know the other mothers attending. One question I was asked was ? What has surprised you most about motherhood?? I realised that everything has been a surprise for me.

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I always wanted to have a family, but I honestly had never sat down and visualised what that would be like. I had very few expectations in the motherhood stakes. I think I was naive and just figured it would all come to me as needed. My husband and I never sat down and talked about the specifics of having kids, just that we wanted two or three kids and the only real issue was deciding when we were both ready to start (me earlier than him, but we got there in the end).

I never really liked the newborn stage and was one of the few women in my circle of friends who did not want to hold other people?s new babies. I wanted to wait until they had some meat on their bones and were a little more solid ? I was always afraid I would break them somehow. I had been accident prone my whole life so maybe I had reason to be nervous.

Anyway, I have noticed as the years go by and the kids grow stronger and older and stand on more solid ground I too grow stronger and older and on more solid ground. I have grown into motherhood.

I know some women just take to motherhood instantly and exude confidence in their abilities.

I think on some level the open ended nature of child rearing has always thrown me for a loop.

I realize there is one expectation I had ? I mistakenly thought once I had a child I would officially know what to do with any more children I had. ?Even though my sister and I are also as opposite as night and day it never occurred to me the same would happen in my own little family.

In a case of history repeating itself my older daughter Alice is like a mini version of my older sister and raising Lulu is like facing my childhood all over again. My mother has laughed all through these last seven years as I ?mention things that drive me crazy and she points out that I was exactly the same. When I struggled through PND the nurse at the baby clinic said one of my issues was that Lulu and I were the same. I could not see it at the time, but this woman who only saw me monthly saw it plain as day. She said parenting a version of yourself is very hard and the clashes are normal.

In recent months I have felt ?like I am in the stage of motherhood that most suits me. ?I feel comfortable discussing the growing challenges my school age children face. I love to sit and cuddle and talk and process and console and reassure.

Then I looked back and saw so many other stages I felt suited me too.

What I am realising is that it is not the stage of motherhood that is the issue (they are all different and have their own challenges). At some point I reach that confident, stronger, more solid feeling with every stage of motherhood. If only I realised at the beginning of the stage how I would grow more confident over time, perhaps I could simply enjoy it all more.

Right now I am stopping to tell myself that I can do this ? whatever comes up next for us ? harder schooling, friendship dramas, puberty, the teen years, them leaving home, returning home and more. I have grown into motherhood and I am the best mother my children can have. I know every inch of them and every ounce of their being.

We are connected.

They are loved.

I am their mother.

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Find your simple,

Deb

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Linking up with Jess at Diary of a SAHM for IBOT. Go check out dozens of awesome blog posts.

Photo credits: taken by my oldest friend ?- Caryn Leigh Photography

Source: http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/ramblings-on-motherhood/

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